A suicidal alcoholic takes a grim walk down memory lane in I’m Not Here, a showcase for J.K. Simmons directed and co-written by the actor’s wife, Michelle Schumacher. Observing three general periods in the man’s life, it finds self-destructive patterns repeating amid brief opportunities for happiness.
The morning of a fateful day, when an emaciated Steve awakens to a house he has stopped trying to maintain. Evidently while drinking himself to death, he’s done paying his bills; when he looks in the mirror, he’s occasionally haunted by the memory of his virile younger self (Sebastian Stan) being cooed over by a loving Karen. Flashing back further, we see Stevie (Iain Armitage) as a six-year-old, an innocent bystander to his own father’s alcoholism. Dad (Max Greenfield) wasn’t a mean drunk — far from it, he was loving, and not in a sloppy, mawkish way — but he wasn’t equipped to meet the expectations of his more straitlaced wife (Mandy Moore). The two divorced while Stevie was a kid.
Haunted by the tragic memories of his past, every sound Steve (Simmons) hears reminds him of specific events in his life. While connecting the events of his past to make sense of his present, he begins to realize that time isn’t the enemy he thinks it is.
- Amazon
Mirrors are important in this film, literally and metaphorically. Steve looks into the mirror, sometimes seeing what he has become, sometimes measuring what he sees against what he once saw, a handsome, hopeful man, a child who loved his parents and did not understand their divorce.
The metaphorical mirrors are the memories that are triggered by everything he sees and hears. Some are extended scenes, some just fragments from the past, with parallels and connections he may not have considered before. We see little Steve with a dad who loves spending time with his son but thinks it is okay to ask the boy to cook dinner and pour him “three fingers” of booze. And we see a boy who loves his dad unreservedly and who will not understand the import of this moment for a long while.
The script is amazing and the performances are fabulous. Simmons is a well-established actor and shows brilliant acting chops. Sebastian Stan has done a great job in shedding off his "Winter soldier" image. The movie follows a non-linear narrative and it’s quite sad yet realistic. The storytelling is brilliant and shows you the harsh realities of life. There are a lot of relatable moments.
This movie is not perfect, and it surely isn’t for everyone. As the critics say, the film’s pace can be slow at times and it might prove to be confusing. However, I can guarantee that you are going to sympathize with the lead’s character, and the ending might even bring a tear to your eye, just as it did mine. It is an ideal movie for those who enjoy the story and artistic style of art movies more than the trendy commercial movies.
It's that kind of movie you have to watch alone, at night, while thinking about all those tiny decisions you've made so far.
I can't say this movie is for you. You'll know it when you watch it.
It definitely was for me.
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